Recently, at work, I decided to take a moment to catch up with the world’s news. We don’t get scheduled breaks, but I thought it would yet be an acceptable moment’s diversion. A quick stop at a news site offered me the tantalizing-seeming promise of better looking hair (I wasn’t called vainglorious for nothing), so I clicked – and wished I hadn’t.
I ended up reading an insipid article about improving one’s hair through changes in diet. Besides sounding otherwise hokey and impractical, the article suggested having an afternoon snack of goat cheese and pumpkin seeds. I realized then that I deserved to encounter such absurdity – it was my reward, served up the god of irony, for goofing off at work.
In a busy world, and let’s be honest with ourselves, who keeps goat cheese and pumpkin seeds on hand? I mean… even if a person were willing to eat such things (I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m saying they’re not snack items to even remotely normal people), who – seriously now – buys them routinely? I’ve done a lot of cooking, and even more eating, in my life. I’ve had pumpkin seeds once. And goat cheese never. (The article went on to further recommend unsalted edamame… I had to double check to make sure I hadn’t stumbled unknowingly upon “The Onion” website.)
The only conclusion I could reach was that the purveyors of pumpkin seeds, goat cheese, and unsalted edamame must have paid handsomely for the product endorsements. Why, in any other case, would a rational person suggest that anyone add to their daily diet anything so expensive as goat cheese, expensive-and-obscure as unsalted edamame, or anything as plain nasty as pumpkin seeds (okay, I’m saying the seeds are bad, anyone wanting to dispute the matter can read someone else’s blog). The whole thing was stupid enough to make me wish I’d not been goofing off in the first place. Stupid enough, in fact to make me wish – simultaneously – that the internet did not exist and that I were illiterate (making me doubly safe from exposure to such nonsense).
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on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Commentary.
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Just Desserts
Recently, at work, I decided to take a moment to catch up with the world’s news. We don’t get scheduled breaks, but I thought it would yet be an acceptable moment’s diversion. A quick stop at a news site offered me the tantalizing-seeming promise of better looking hair (I wasn’t called vainglorious for nothing), so I clicked – and wished I hadn’t.
I ended up reading an insipid article about improving one’s hair through changes in diet. Besides sounding otherwise hokey and impractical, the article suggested having an afternoon snack of goat cheese and pumpkin seeds. I realized then that I deserved to encounter such absurdity – it was my reward, served up the god of irony, for goofing off at work.
In a busy world, and let’s be honest with ourselves, who keeps goat cheese and pumpkin seeds on hand? I mean… even if a person were willing to eat such things (I’m not saying they’re bad, I’m saying they’re not snack items to even remotely normal people), who – seriously now – buys them routinely? I’ve done a lot of cooking, and even more eating, in my life. I’ve had pumpkin seeds once. And goat cheese never. (The article went on to further recommend unsalted edamame… I had to double check to make sure I hadn’t stumbled unknowingly upon “The Onion” website.)
The only conclusion I could reach was that the purveyors of pumpkin seeds, goat cheese, and unsalted edamame must have paid handsomely for the product endorsements. Why, in any other case, would a rational person suggest that anyone add to their daily diet anything so expensive as goat cheese, expensive-and-obscure as unsalted edamame, or anything as plain nasty as pumpkin seeds (okay, I’m saying the seeds are bad, anyone wanting to dispute the matter can read someone else’s blog). The whole thing was stupid enough to make me wish I’d not been goofing off in the first place. Stupid enough, in fact to make me wish – simultaneously – that the internet did not exist and that I were illiterate (making me doubly safe from exposure to such nonsense).
Tags: edamame, goat cheese, pumpkin seeds, stupidity
This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.